Thursday, October 23, 2008

The First 30 Days After Your Baby is Born: A Father’s Guide

What you should and shouldn’t do the first 30 days after your baby is born... Well, my heart goes out to all new couples out there who think they have what it takes to raise a newborn. Let me promise you, you don’t. You may think you do, but you don’t. I hope to encourage the fathers, and the mothers out there who are about to have a baby. Everyone told my wife and I that our life was going to change. That was the understatement of the century, yet the overstatement-Your life is about to change, only for the better! First and foremost here is my number one advice: If you get upset with the baby, at all, give him to your partner or put him down for five-seven minutes and give yourself some breathing room.

I made so many mistakes by not following the above rule. As the father your going to feel like everything is your responsibility: It’s not. Let your wife do what she does best, mother your newborn. I found myself coming to our son’s rescue anytime that he was crying or upset. Then in my prayer times one morning I felt the still small voice of God saying: "Donnie, what are you doing?" Please, let the mother of my child mother him. You are taking away the very gifts I’ve put within her." That got my attention. Then, I started to realize that this was a team effort, and I shouldn’t be Mr. America whenever my son got upset. By the way, the first four weeks of your baby’s life are the most crucial. Don’t plan any extra work projects or anything around the house dad’s.

I was so fortunate to be off-track from work, I’m a teacher, and I got to spend the first 30 days of my new son’s life with him - for which I am eternally grateful. Also, though you may have some friends that like to go out and party or whatever, don’t. Dads stay home with your baby the first 30 days and bond. Forget about clubs and churches too, although your church family will miss you, invite the ones you trust to come over and see the baby.

Another major mistake...I had in my heart the people from church that I knew I could trust, people who were close to my wife and I and the baby, and yet, for whatever reason, I did not invite them over, even though I felt promptings from the Lord, to invite them, I never did. Major mistake. About two months into the babys’ life a spiritual "mother" to my wife came over in tears apologizing that she wasn’t there more for my son when he was born. It was me that should’ve called her. Don’t blow that one men! Call on the people you know you can trust. Don’t count on relatives for help, they may or may not be there...

When Jesus was confronted by the publicans in the square who said "Your mother and brother are outside, he said Here are my mothers, sisters, and brothers, meaning the body of Christ, and the church!" Don’t forget that. You must ask for help at this time. It’s almost impossible for just the two of you to do it on your own. Also, I conduct business online, have since 1997, and doing my business online was a "major" breath of fresh air and escape from the baby, as it took my mind off of him and let me focus on my online business. I encourage all mothers and fathers out there to do something on the computer, listen to music, or just go in another room or pray and dance.

You need your escape time and it’ll be worth millions of dollars to you in the long run! Lastly, men, this is not a time to get upset. Your wife may experience Post-Partum Depression. Mine had a severe case. Watch the words you say. Your wife’s going to make so many mistakes with your newborn. You’ll literally want to freak out when she accidentally under feeds him, or picks him up wrong, or something, but hold your control... She’s learning just like you.

It’s true what they say. They don’t come with a training manual. Just know that you are about to experience the utmost, incredible, untouchable, joy of your life, and this baby will be everything after God and your wife! And you will love your wife more than ever as you see the beautiful bond between your newborn and it’s loving and gracious mother. Get ready for the most exciting time of your life. But also get ready for the greatest challenge of your life. Remember, men, self-control is your best friend. Your wife will love you forever for all of your kind words, support, and gentleness at this time. It is the most important time for you to be Mr. Gentle Ben and Mr. Encouragement. To all the men out there, I salute you, God made you to be a father, do what comes naturally, but let mommy do what comes naturally too, and above all, raise your child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord Jesus Christ...


About the Author
Don & Vanessa Alexander are Co-Owners of the websites: http://www.homebusinessjobs.org http://www.goldminez.com http://www.something4you.biz Don is an internet marketing specialist and Vanessa is a stay-at-home mom. They have one mission statement: "Helping ALL Parents to Succeed."






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